I was recently asked to present to a group of artists on the topic of ‘confidence.’ I led with the statement that ‘Confidence doesn’t exist. It comes and goes. Quit chasing it.’

Well, I ruffled some feathers. Someone immediately posted in the chat ‘confidence most definitely does exist!’  – Does it? How do you know?

I went on to argue that the way to experience something like confidence is to embrace the work, unconfidently. In that I mean keep doing the work. In time you will develop mastery and some sense of your ability to regularly complete work, but I don’t think that’s really confidence.  So I put in this piece that:

In the world of self-help and personal development, much emphasis is placed on the pursuit of confidence. We are bombarded with phrases like “fake it till you make it” and “be confident in yourself.” Yet, what if confidence, as we commonly perceive it, is nothing but an illusion? What if the key to achieving success and fulfillment lies not in chasing this elusive feeling but in embracing our work, unconfidently?

The Illusion of Confidence

Confidence is often portrayed as the magic ingredient that transforms our endeavours from failures to triumphs. We look at people who seem confident and admire their poise, their assurance, their ability to handle challenges with grace. However, the truth is, confidence is not a static state of being. It is not something you possess; it is something you project. We act confidence, donning it like a costume, but underneath, most of us grapple with doubts and insecurities.

Action Over Confidence

Rather than obsessing over cultivating confidence, we should focus on the actions that drive us forward. Doing the work, regardless of how unconfident we feel, is what ultimately leads to growth and accomplishment. The more we engage in our tasks, the more proficient we become, and gradually, what was once a daunting challenge turns into a manageable routine. Interestingly, the action itself breeds a form of confidence, not from the absence of doubt, but from the familiarity and mastery of the work.

Appearing Confident

You might wonder how you can appear confident, even when you don’t feel it. The answer lies in your actions and attitude. Stand tall, make eye contact, speak clearly, and display enthusiasm for what you are doing. These behaviors are often associated with confidence, and adopting them can change not only how others perceive you but also how you perceive yourself. It’s about creating an impression of assurance, not necessarily feeling it.

Embrace Uncertainty

Accepting that confidence doesn’t exist in the way we think can be liberating. It frees us from the pressure of trying to attain a state that is inherently fluid and elusive. Instead, acknowledge your unconfidence. Embrace it as a natural part of the process. By doing so, you give yourself permission to be imperfect, to make mistakes, and to learn from them – what Carol Dweck calls a ‘Growth Mindset.’ This mindset fosters resilience and persistence, qualities far more valuable than fleeting moments of self-assurance.

The Power of Doing the Work

Ultimately, success is born of consistent effort. It is the cumulative result of many small actions taken over time, not the product of sudden bursts of confidence. When you commit to doing the work, day in and day out, you build a foundation that supports your goals and aspirations. You may start unconfidently, but with dedication and perseverance, you will find your footing.

In the End…

Confidence is not the prerequisite for success… action is. Quit chasing the illusion of confidence and start doing the work, even if you feel unconfident. Embrace your doubts, project confidence through your actions, and keep moving forward. In time, you will discover that what truly matters is not how confident you feel, but how committed you are to doing your work.